Thing 1 & Thing 2

Pa and Ma added finishing touches on Thing 1 & Thing 2. They summoned them to the parlor one night and said “Thing 1 & Thing 2, we have given you our all. Every ounce of us in you now and there is nothing more left to do. You both are as perfect as can be. Now go out into the world and make us proud“.

Thing 1 & Thing 2 were sad and excited at the same time. Thing 2 asked Ma and Pa “But how do we keep in touch with you?” Ma slipped a device into each hand and said ” These devices can be used only once a year and you can call each other but not us. Our work on this planet is done and we are leaving on our ethereal journey“. As Thing 1 & Thing 2 watched, Ma & Pa vanished into thin air.

Thing 1 decided to settle in Timbuk2 and Thing 1 settled in Timbuk1. At the end of year 1, Thing 1 called Thing 2 and said, “Hey, how have you been. I managed to find a job and bought a house. Life is simple but good. How have you been?” Thing 2 said “Yeah, its goin. I bet you bought the cheapest house on the market given how much money you make. Anyway, congrats!

Year 2 came around and Thing 1 called again to check on Thing 2 and said, “Hey, I bought this beautiful horse carriage with horses that are swift like the wind. I feel so blessed. You need to come visit and ride this carriage with me sometime.” Thing 2 said, “Aah, carriage huh? Does it have leather seats, how about the horses? I bet they do not have too many years left on them. Congrats!”

Year 3 came around and Thing 1 called again to check on Thing 2 and said, “Hey, I found Thing 3 who is amazing and totally gets me. I think we are meant to be together.” Thing 2 said “Really, what does Thing 3 see in you, of all people? Ah well, congrats anyway.

Thing 1 was very troubled by this rudeness and went to see a great master high up in the mountains. Thing 1 said to the master “I have watched out for Thing 2, called every year and shared and cared. Thing 2 has given me nothing but sadness and heart ache. Oh master, please give me some advice so I can get closure.”

The wise master pulled out a quote from thin air and read “If you have to hurt other people in order to feel powerful, you are an extremely weak individual.” The wise master hugged Thing 1 and said, “Now go back into the world and start afresh. You don’t really need to watch out for Thing 2 anymore. My blessings are with you.”

And that is how the story of Thing 1 & Thing 2 ends.

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