I sense a hint of envy, a shadow of doubt in myself as I hear a relative describe her evening out with her girl friends. She tells me enthusiastically that they ate, drank and danced and had a lovely evening, while the husbands watched the kiddos at home.
I am a master of masking my feelings and do not let them seep through the cracks in my face. As she continues telling me about the next meetup, I wonder why am I blessed with loneliness while every other person I know of, has someone to call their own? I am not talking about immediate family, but others, one might call friends?
I go into this never ending saga of blaming myself for who I am and my inability to form meaningful connections beyond family. What is it about me , I ask myself?
And then, I have an epiphany.
At The Louvre – there were many millions who came to visit The Mona Lisa. My favorite though was the statue of Winged Victory. Most people hurried past her to catch a glimpse of other pieces of sculpture. I stood transfixed at her feet and could not get enough of this masterpiece. There were no crowds, no velvet ropes, no security guards, no lines, no selfie sticks, around her, but a select few who looked as fascinated as I was by her beauty and depth.
I feel rest assured more than ever that they will come and I will find them. Until then, I will stand at the edge of the rock niche and wait.