We were watching The ShawShank Redemption recently and hubby was in tears. He is like that. All it takes is a song, a speech or something beautiful to move him to tears. Kiddo and I have a code word for it “Waterworks”.
On the other hand I am stoic.
I have been asking myself this question for a very long time, why do I pack my emotions so well like a can of sardines. There are times when I choke up and put in extra effort to hold back the tears or say anything emotional for fear of ? I do not know.
I went down this rabbit hole and have made a discovery. Join me on this journey.
Growing up, we used to watch a lot of family movies. I was the youngest and never got a seat on the sofa, so I sat on the floor. There were several times when I choked up, and fat tears rolled down my chubby cheeks. I was immediately made fun of by a member of my family whose relationship to me shall remain unsaid. I was taunted, laughed at for showing emotion. Very quickly I learned that showing emotion was the perfect recipe for entertainment/mockery and decided to hold it all in. And thus began my journey to the land of stoicism.
Everything connected for me today as I was reading the book ‘Soul Shifts’ by DR. BARBARA DE ANGELIS. She talks about bald eagles and how they fiercely protect their precious nest/eggs and never leave it exposed to harm. Just so, we need to protect our nests of transformation. That nest could be your wisdom, an idea, a feeling, an emotion. Whilst these are still expanding and integrating, the eggs/nest must be protected from predators (internal such as fear, doubt: or external such as people whose vibration disturbs you).
Do you see what happened to me? My tiny eggs of emotions and expression were unprotected and were disturbed by external predators. They were unable to fully develop and grow and integrate into my psyche.
Please pretty please will you do your part and fiercely protect your nest/eggs or that of anyone who comes to you showing vulnerability? Especially, if you are a parent and see your kids doing this to one another, please put a stop to it. It could cause irreparable harm.
Many thanks for reading.