Back and then forth

Hubby had the day off today and we wanted to make the most of it. We woke up, had our cuppa and were planning out the day. He suggested a hike and I came up with 3 routes we could go on. He got very excited and said “well, honey, you pick the route we should go on”. To my own amazement, I snapped and said “You pick for a change!!!” {{Imagine a gnarly face with sharp canines sticking out, ready to tear}}. I saw his face shrink and the smile wiped out of his charming face. He said “Hey, I just wanted to make you happy by going on a route that you preferred”.

Hmm….

I decided to analyse my behavior. Step 1 – Root Cause – The anger actually came from the fact that in the past, I have been extremely annoyed when hubby makes me decide on where to eat, what to order, how much to tip and so on. Sometimes, I want to not be the one making all the decisions and want someone else to lead the way. So, that is where I traced back my anger to.

Step 2 – So, what could I do differently next time? I could have taken a step back and shared with him the fact that I was annoyed to be asked to make a decision yet again. Then, he might have had a chance to explain that he was eager to make me happy and hence …

Glennon Doyle in one of her books mentions – sometimes you need to step back to move forward.

Whenever I am angry, instead of saying what is on top of my mind and tongue, I need to step back and talk about what is making me angry. It gives everyone a chance.

If you look at a bow and arrow, or a catapult – you do need to pull the string back, so the arrow or stone can move forward. Yes, there is truth in this statement.

Ah, well, one of those life lessons that I learned the hard way.

2 thoughts on “Back and then forth

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