Beginner’s guide to dealing with expectations & disappointments

Case # 1) I was walking today and saw my neighbor at the signal. I looked at him twice but he seemed to be looking straight ahead. Why was he avoiding me? Did I do something? There is no way he could not have seen me walk right toward him..

Case # 2) Someone wrote a poem on FB and wanted her friends to read and report back. We all did. She liked everyone’s comment and posted her ‘thanks’ to all. For the comment I had left -“Great poem. I loved the reference to <> and <>”, she neither ‘liked’ nor left a ‘thank you’ comment. She simply said “yes, a good reminder”. Why me? I actually read her poem and commented on the parts I liked. Others probably just hit the like button without reading her entire poem and just said “lovely!”. Why would she respond to me differently than others? I am going to mute her or maybe unfriend her.

Do you see how my mind is racing at 100 miles/minute when I am disappointed in someone or my expectations were/are not met.

There is a much simpler way to deal with these annoying thoughts that affect only us (me+you). The other party is probably sipping a pina colada unaware of the storm brewing in our heads.

So back to my point. Have you heard of Occam’s razor. Definition – It serves instead as a heuristic device — a guide or a suggestion — that states that when given two explanations for the same thing, the simpler one is usually the correct one. (Reference)

For Case #1 – the simplest explanation could be , my neighbor was on a call and did not want to get distracted.

For case # 2 – the simplest explanation could be, she is probably holding a grudge. Not my problem, hers, so why bother. ( I wanted to come up with a simpler explanation and went back to read her post. She has responded to everyone with a like and a thank you except me. So, this is the best explanation I could come up with.)

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